Stress puts us into a constant paradox. If you extend yourself as much as possible to achieve maximum success, you are at risk for health issues and burnout. If you don’t extend yourself you will have an unfulfilling life and will be stuck scraping the bottom of the barrel. I discussed this at length in a previous post (link to post). The solution to this paradox is simple to learn but not easy to master. You must learn to expand your comfort zone slowly without risking a complete burnout.

I will return to Jane Darrell, the sales representative from my previous post. Jane has been with a software company for three years. Most of her work involves repeat customers to ensure that they renew their annual subscriptions. Jane finds this boring and the pay leaves a lot to be desired. She envies her colleagues who sell to new customers and earn sizeable sales commissions. Jane knows that they make a lot of calls directly to potential clients and frequently meet with high level decision makers. She knows that this is her only path to get ahead in her company, but sales calls frighten Jane and she feels stress thinking about this type of transition. What should Jane do? And more importantly, what should you do if you are in this dilemma yourself?

First you must determine the exact skills that you need to master to make the desired change to your career. You made need a sales training course, a course in specific sales technology and some social skills training. Pick one of these skills to start with. I will use the sales training course as an example. Now you will break this skill down into small manageable steps. Start by researching available course types. There are books, audio programs, video courses and live seminars. All of these come in a variety of lengths and price ranges. The research itself is a small step towards actually enrolling in a course. If you work for a large company, enlist the HR department to see if the company offers free or subsides courses. Make a list of the available courses and narrow it down to five that you are both interested in and are within your budget. This is what I will call your short list. If you have made it this far, congratulations! You are on your way to changing your life one step at a time. Now, choose the one course from your short list and sign up. If this is a book, order it online or reserve it at your local library (many people overlook the ability to order books at their library, this is a great way to access most books for free). If it is an audio program, either purchase it or again try your library. Online video courses are generally simple to enroll in, and live programs usually offer comprehensive customer support.

Now that you have signed up or ordered the training product, schedule a time for it on your calendar (this won’t be necessary for the live events as the scheduling is built in). This one step is often overlooked and frequently leads to failure. You need to set aside time to allow your new resolution to take effect. Make a commitment to a one hour session at least one time a week. Once you have set on a time, and you have the book/audio/video program available, you are ready to take the next step. Now you can start to read, listen or watch the program. Most programs that you take to learn a new skill will come with “homework.” These are exercises that allow you to practice and solidify your new skill so that it becomes comfortable and natural. You will use the time that you have established both to learn the new skill as well as to practice the requisite exercises. Once you have completed this product to your satisfaction, revisit your short list. Determine if you still desire to pursue additional training in this area, or if you feel ready to move on to another skill set. Remember you can take things as slowly as you want.

When you are ready to move on to the next set of skills simply follow the same five steps. Research, short list, commitment, schedule and follow through. By breaking down the initial overwhelming goals of taking sales training, learning new sales technologies and working on social skills, into manageable little steps; you will dramatically improve your chances for success. This methodology is not limited to any particular situation and can be readily applied to most areas of self improvement. Studies have shown that the simple act of breaking down a large goal into small steps increases the success rate by as much as 50%. It is worth your time and effort to map out the steps you will need to take to get to where you want.

Tell me about something you want to accomplish that you could apply the small steps methodology to. I love to hear from you.

Joe

Study the education and careers of most successful, skills based professionals and you will see a pattern emerge. Take the path to becoming a doctor as an example. The formative years leading to a career in medicine are spent under great stress. Medical school is demanding on all levels of human efforts (and it’s expensive too). This is followed by extended periods of residency and often years of on-the-job training. These activities are stressful based on the physical demands, and are compounded by the psychological strain of medical decision making. Despite all of the stress, most people would agree that medicine is a meaningful vocation and has the potential for high levels of life satisfaction.

On the other hand, as a profession, medicine is currently experiencing unparalleled and historic levels of burnout and even suicide. Doctors, as a group, have a suicide attempt rate nearly double that of the general population. Additionally, owing to their access to and skill with medicine, doctors fail less often when attempting suicide. This situation is causing the current estimate of U.S. doctor suicides to rise to roughly one doctor per day (a good reason to smile at your doctor next time you visit). Stress induced depression and other related mental health issues are considered major contributors to this problem.

So here lies the stress paradox at its core. It is because of the great amount of meaning and real significance in the work doctors perform that they are under so much stress. Yet, despite this seemingly necessary stress, doctors are suffering from burnout, depression and even suicide. Where does this leave us in terms of the value of stress? Is stress derived from meaningful work favorable? Or perhaps becoming a doctor is too stressful and therefore the downsides outweigh the benefits?

You may have no interest in becoming a doctor or any other type of skills based professional, nonetheless the answer to this question is fundamental to everyone. No matter what it is that you decide to do, there will always be this question. “Do I push myself to become the most I can despite the increased stress? Or, do I just take the path of least resistance and avoid stress as much as possible?”

The answer to these questions is no and no. You cannot ignore stress entirely. You always need to ensure that the additional efforts you make will not damage your physical or mental health. That said your life will be miserable if you do not challenge yourself. Lack of increased effort leads to unfulfilled wish lists, as well as an ever increasing load of “if only”thoughts that will wear you out mentally. What you really need is to plan your upward movement so that it stretches your comfort zone, but doesn’t bust it open all at once. You can make great strides in many areas by continuously taking little steps in the right direction.

I will use Jane Darrell as an example. Jane is a sales representative for a software company that provides industry specific workflow solutions. She has been with the company for three years and has experienced limited success (a euphemism) in expanding the client base. Most of her work involves visiting repeat customers to ensure that they renew their software purchases for the next 12 months. Jane finds this somewhat boring (make that really boring) and the pay leaves a lot to be desired. She envies her more successful sales colleagues who spend their time presenting to new customers and earning sizeable sales commissions. Jane knows that these sales representatives put in a lot of extra time and effort and she is hesitant to adopt their techniques. She knows they make a lot of calls directly to potential clients and frequently meet with high level decision makers whom they do not know previously. This type of work frightens Jane and she feels stress just thinking about it. She knows however, that she will never get ahead in her company without exactly this type of work. This is how the stress paradox presents itself to many people.

You are probably dealing with this paradox on some level yourself. It is relatively easy to develop a routine that works and become complacent. Therefore, most people do not prioritize the consistent push to widen individual comfort zones. You know that if you pushed harder you could attain your dream of a promotion, raise or other special opportunity contingent on performance. At the same time you do not want to “rock the boat” and experience uncomfortable and potentially stressful situations. You want to keep doing what you are doing and still get the desired results. Of course this is an exercise in futility. You will never get different results until you change your methods and actions.

The stakes here are enormous. You can spend the rest of your life stuck with your reassuring routines and never accomplish your dreams, or you can take the plunge and put in the extra effort. The method to overcoming this inertia is straightforward. You must first establish what it is that you would like to accomplish. Suppose like Jane you would love to expand your work into more interesting assignments with better earning potential. You then need to determine the exact skills you will need to acquire to make this happen. You may need to take a sales training course, improve presentation abilities and work on social skills. Each one of these items is simple and should not overwhelm if approached correctly. Pick one and take a small step towards making it happen. These steps should be truly small so that they do not create panic and strong stress reactions. You should be stretching your comfort zone slowly not busting it wide open. I will examine the small steps approach in detail in the next post.

Tell me about one area in your life where you are experiencing the stress paradox. I love to hear from you.

Joe